【爛透了!】天啊我恨莎士比亞 God, I hate Shakespeare!



NICK: God, I hate Shakespeare!
That’s right, I said it!
NIGEL: No!
NICK: I do! I hate Shakespeare!
NIGEL: Why?

NICK:
天啊我恨莎士比亞
沒錯,我說出來了
NIGEL:
不會吧
NICK:
沒錯,我恨莎士比亞
NIGEL:
為什麼?

NICK: I just don’t get it
How a mediocre actor from a measly little town
Is suddenly the brightest jewel in England’s royal crown
Oh God I hate Shakespeare
His plays are wordy but OH NO!
The “great” Shakespeare!
That little turd
He has no sense about the audience he makes them feel so dumb
The bastard doesn’t care that my poor ass is getting numb

NICK:
我就是不瞭
一個卑微小鎮出身的平庸演員
突然成了英國皇室的掌心珠寶
噢天啊,我恨莎士比亞
他的劇作字字珠璣但噢不
「偉大的」莎士比亞
那坨廢物
他一點也不懂觀眾,只會讓他們覺得自己很蠢
那個混蛋一點都不在意我們的屁股都坐到麻掉



THE TROUPE: How can you say that?
How can you say that?
NICK: It’s easy, I can say it cause it’s absolutely true!
THE TROUPE: Don’t be a penis, the man is a genius!
NICK: His genius is he’s fooling all of you!
NIGEL: But he’s brilliant
What majesty flows from his pen
His poetry soars like a sweet violin
God’s own inspiration like lightning doth strike him
And he captures my soul!
劇團:你怎麼能這樣說、你怎麼能這樣說
NICK:很簡單,我能這樣說因為根本就真的
劇團:別當個渾球,他是個天才
NICK:他是個愚弄你們的天才
劇團:但他如此有才華
他的筆中流洩出宏偉威揚
他的詩詞如甜蜜琴聲飛翔
老天的靈感像閃電擊中他
而他擄獲了我的身心靈魂


NICK (speaking): Jeez, you sound just like him!
NIGEL (speaking): Really? Thanks…
NICK: You should hate Shakespeare!
NIGEL: Well no I don’t, I try to emulate Shakespeare!
NICK: Well there’s your problem! You’re so blinded by “The Bard” who’s such a pompous little man
NIGEL: Why is it a problem to admit that I’m a fan?
NICK: Cause he’s a hack
With a knack
For stealing anything he can
THE TROUPE: How can you say that?
How can you say that?
The man really knows how to write a bitchin’ play!
You wish you could pen one
We wish we were in one

NICK:媽啊,你談吐都像他一樣
NIGEL:真的嗎?謝謝~
NICK:你該恨莎士比亞
NIGEL:我才不會,我試圖追趕他
NICK:這就是你的問題了,你被名聲給蒙蔽雙眼、他根本是個傲慢的小人
NIGEL:我承認自己是個粉絲又怎樣?
NICK:因為他不過是個有點伎倆的寫手,到處偷東偷西
THE TROUPE:
你怎麼能這樣說、你怎麼能這樣說
那個人的確知道怎麼寫出勁爆好戲
你妄想你也能寫一齣
我們妄想能夠演一齣

NICK: I just wish that he would go away!
NIGEL (speaking): Well that’s not gonna happen, 
because everyone I know says that he’s the greatest writer that England’s ever known!
NICK: And that’s ANOTHER thing I hate about Shakespeare!
Is all the twits who bloviate about Shakespeare!
And how they prattle on about his great accomplishments, well la-di-da-di-dah!
And once they start their gushing there’s no stopping them
And then it’s “blah blah blah blah blah Shakespeare!”
And he walks in, it’s “dum da dum ta da Shakespeare!”
He’s holding court and they say “Will you’re such a genius and your writing is divine,
A rose by any other name is such a clever line!”
And they’re all “ooh!” and he’s all “stop” and they’re all “yay” and I’m all “ugh”
And I’m REALLY getting sick of it!
And oh, oh, oh, oh, I HATE SHAKESPEARE!

NICK:我只希望他能消失不見
NIGEL:這很難發生吧,我認識的每個人都說他是英國最好的作家
NICK:而這更是我討厭他的另一個原因
每個村姑都在以為自己很瞭莎士比亞
他們總是瞎談著莎士比亞的成就,這個那個的
只要他們一開始嘮叨就沒人停得下來
一天到晚巴拉巴拉巴拉莎士比亞
到哪都有人要為他奏巴拉滴答答
每個人都繞著他說你真是天才作品真非凡
那句玫瑰若不叫玫瑰寫的真有風采
群眾尖叫他就假仙說別稱讚
群眾歡呼我一邊倒胃一邊看
我實在要受不了了
噢噢噢噢我恨透莎士比亞


THE TROUPE: I think by now we sort of know you hate Shakespeare!
NICK: Shmakespeare!
The way he feigns humility when all he does is gloat
The way he wears that silly frilly collar ‘round his throat
The poster child for why no one should ever procreate
Let me make a shorter list so I can give it to you straight:
Every little thing about Shakespeare
Is what I hate!
THE TROUPE (overlapping): He hates! He hates! He clearly surely really truly hates Shakespeare!
NIGEL (speaking): Don’t hate!
THE TROUPE: 我想我們都已經知道你恨莎士比亞
NICK:莎士我鄙視你呀
他沽名釣譽又玩弄著人性
他穿著那頂可笑的圓摺領
沒人該養那種鎂光燈小孩
讓我列個清單簡單告訴你
每一件關於莎士比亞的事
我都討厭
THE TROUPE: 他討厭、他討厭
他真真正正確確實實在在恨透莎士比亞

NIGEL:別恨啊~

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